Tuesday, November 01, 2005
An exercise in arbitrariness
The government has implemented a test to gauge Britishness or 'preparedness to become citizens in keeping with the language requirement', in McNultyspeak.

Perhaps if I—whinge about the weather and New Labour and Tube delays, watch more Carry On movies, insist on planting seasonals and not perennials in my postage stamp of a garden, wait 18 months for 'elective' surgery, pine for days of Empire long gone, gaze enviously across the Pond, tolerate yob behaviour, abuse the welfare system, read the Daily Mail, speak only one language (and expect the rest of the world to be able to speak that one language), wonder why only two universities in the world's top 20 are British, drink tea, sip Pimm's, chug Bombardier, upchuck in a black cab, think Balti food is authentically South Asian, celebrate a national sporting victory only once every ten years, ponder on the never-ending property boom, succumb to low interest credit, drop all work at five sharp, force a single rubbish bin to service two square blocks, CCTV everything, listen to Arctic Monkeys, have Manumission on speed dial—then I would not have to take it?

posted by Hong at 10:27 pm | Permalink |